The Party is Over

Where I last left off, my daughter had been born and John was no where to be found at that point in time. He eventually arrived back to the hospital and held his new daughter for the first time. So many emotions were going thru my mind. There was the undying love for this little creature, yet I felt betrayed, used and abandonded. After all, why was my daughter not good enough for him to be around for? I felt like a second class citizen. Why should I? I was the one who was college educated with a bright future.



God knew what he was doing. I just didnt see it at the time, which makes it ten times harder to try to get thru. It's like having only a few pieces of the jig saw puzzle, and not being able to put the whole picture together. You only have a small idea of what is going on. As time goes on and God works in your life, slowly and only by God's timing do the pieces come together to form the complete picture.



I decided on a name for the baby and refused to put his name on the birth certificate. She would have my last name and if a man came along to change my last name, I would consider changing her last name. He was enfuriated that he was not on the birth certificate and even challenged whether or not she was his daughter. Talk about adding insult to injury. It was like pouring salt onto a patient having open heart surgery. The pain was so immense. He left and went to buy my flowers. It was a nice gesture, it was just void of any significant meaning. At the end of the first night, he headed out to go back to Ohio. That was the last time I allowed him to see her or spend any time with her. I didnt hear much from him, as his consequences for the DUI in Ohio were catching up to him here. He had court dates and had to following protocols with this new legal issue.



My daughter and I headed home alone. Just us. She became my entire world, she is all that I had left. I clung to her like there was no other. Oh, did I mention the significance of here middle name? It is Faith, for I had to have Faith in order to live on a day by day basis and believe that there was a master plan in it all.