The history

Well, let me explain my situation. I was once a wide eyes college girl with big dreams and hopes. I had been in failing relationship after failing relationship and decided that it was time that I found a more established, mature man to have my next relationship with. After all, he should have it all together, right? So I fell in love with John. It was very easy to do. He was 10 years older than me and very into me. After all, I was young and in college. Definitely a status symbol for a man in his early thirties. I was naive. I can see it now, but definitely didn't see it then. Like the fact that I never had a home phone number. At that time 11 years ago, it was pagers. Everyone had one and I only had his pager number. It should have been a red flag but as I said, I was naive. I did ask about it once, but was told that he was living with his sister and didn't want to disturb her on her house phone. Can you see where this is going?

I never met him at his sister's house, he always met me out somewhere else. We never went out in the area he lived in, we just went out in the area that I lived in. Can you see now where this is going? I was madly in love with him. He was mature and established. He took me to nice places and spent every weekend with me, from Friday night thru Sunday. Needless to say, we found out on the day before Christmas Eve that we had conceived a child. He was in shock and not quite sure what to do. I was elated. I wasn't necessarily ready for a child, but surely glad at the arrival. I was in my last semester of college and would be graduating in May. Things would be good, wouldn't they? Then out came the secret.

John was married. No, not just married, but married with 3 children. I was mortified. He reassured me that he was in the process of leaving his wife and that he really was living with his sister. Not quite sure what to believe, I was devastated. After all, I was about to have his child. Surely this would make me important to him. Surely this child was my insurance policy. He would have to stay with me, wouldn't he???