To say that my parents were appalled by my pregnancy would be an understatement. I was ecstatic that I was pregnant, even though I had no idea as to what the future would hold. My mother liked John, he was kind and polite to her. He would sit and drink coffee with her and carry on conversations. She thought that he was nice until I was pregnant. I remember telling her. I couldn't hold it in anymore because I was so excited. I was bursting with joy! It was Christmas time and all about the birth of Jesus and here I was, waiting for my own little birth. I ended up telling her the day after Christmas. Her reaction was not what I had expected at all. She was infuriated and my father demanded to know whether or not we would be getting married. He was politely demanding that we get married. John couldn't commit to that and then my mother came out of the blue and asked if he was married. John answered yes and that is when the nastiness began. He was thrown out of the house and I was left there to figure out what to do. I was living there at the time while I was finishing my last semester at college.
The next day she stated that he needed to step up to the plate and take care of me. She told me that he could stay there with me at her house. I was confused. Was this the same person that told me that I was horrible? She called me every name in the book. I couldn't believe what she was saying to me as she was my mother. How could she speak so terribly about me? How could she call me a whore and mean it?
She came to me a few days later. She told me that I had a choice to make. I was told that I could stay in her house and continue to live there as long as I terminated my pregnancy. She said if I choose to keep my child, I would have to move out immediately. I was appalled. I knew that she wouldn't be accepting of the situation, but to demand that I kill my child was going a bit too far. She told me "God will forgive you for an abortion, but he will not forgive you for having a child with a married man. You are selfish if you choose to have this child." Wow, selfish? How could that be when I was giving up my dreams of med school to have a child? Is that really what selfish is? See, she is a control freak. And if she cannot control the situation, she will manipulate what she can to gain the control. I was devastated when she gave me this ultimatum but I knew what I had to do. I called my family, my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. I told them about the situation. I was extremely disappointed in having to tell my grandparents. They were the light in my life. My grandmother was my role model and my motherly figure, as my own mother could not be. I told them all about the ultimatum that my mother had given me. They were disgusted with her. My grandmother said to me "I don't think that is the solution, but maybe you should think about your other options and adoption. Just think about it." Wow, such wisdom she had. She did not criticize me, shun me, call me terrible names or judge me. She just continued to love me. Her love for me never waived for me and yet my mother had completely disowned me. After all, what would her affluent neighbors think if they saw me.
My friend at the time was also a single mom and told me that I could come and stay with her. She would move her small son into her room and I could live with her for free until I graduated and got a job. What a sacrifice. Once again, God had a plan. My entire extended family came to move me out of the house early one Saturday morning. I didn't even dignify my mother with an answer to her ultimatum. I just packed up and left. We didn't speak for months, literally. There was nothing to say. For whatever reason, God had a plan for my child and no one would take that away. He had a purpose for her and I would make sure she achieved it.
Then one evening several months ago, I called the house to ask my dad about some brakes for my car that I had left behind. When I called, she answered the phone and said immediately, "how did you know to call. Do you know what happened?" I was dumbfounded and quite honestly, didn't even want to speak to her. I was intrigued and didn't know what to say. She replied that my brother who was working in Orlando was sick in the hospital and that she needed to fly down immediately. She was upset and said that my father couldn't go and she didn't want to go by herself. Immediately I told her that I would go with her if she would pay for my ticket. WHAT? What on earth just came from my mouth? It just jumped right out without me thinking. She said she would pay for my ticket and then off we went the next day. Once again, God was in control. We barely spoke on the plane ride, but we were seated right next to a mother with an infant child. My mother was playing with this little child and warming up to him. When we got off the plane, we spoke very little. We were both focused on getting to my brother. Then a funny thing happened a few days later. We were on our way to the Magic Kingdom on the launch that goes from the TTC to the Magic Kingdom. As we stood on the boat looking out at the lake, she said to me "Are you really going to do this?" I told her that there was no turning back that this child would be coming. She broke down and told me that she was scared for me and that she knew that John would not stick around. She said that this child would be raised without a father and that would be extremely selfish of me. I stood my ground firm with her and told her that I loved my child and she can choose to be a part or not.
After our trip, she began to turn around. My father still had a hard time with me. He couldn't really look at me. I tended to stay away, until my mother found out that I was attending all of my doctor appointments alone. She choose to go to the ultrasound with me and that was the turning point. She saw my child on the ultrasound and her whole attitude changed. As for my father, his attitude changed the very last week of my pregnancy. He was actually by coach during labor and delivery. Now, years later, they adore my child. However, I don't know what they were thinking to suggest such an ultimatum.
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